Try and make it flow a little better and take things slower, teasing and buildup make a story alot better. Dr. Porn Dr. But not the worst first attempt I’ve read so don’t feel bad.READERReport 2006-09-05 11:44:32oh my god this was badREADERReport 2006-08-31 08:08:01virgin«12» And the whole, he said she said, format really distracts you from the story. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2007-03-16 10:45:00DAMN! And the whole, he said she said, format really distracts you from the story. Dr. JohnREADERReport 2006-12-31 12:19:03it was prity gudREADERReport 2006-09-07 23:58:46Hey, just some words of advice. Try and make it flow a little better and take things slower, teasing and buildup make a story alot better. And the whole, he said she said, format really distracts you from the story.
