good effert 9/10wordytomReport 2008-10-26 17:15:47Too gimicky. Pornhat i was definatly captured all the way to the end. good effert 9/10wordytomReport 2008-10-26 17:15:47Too gimicky. I apologize if I insult you, but I feel you have potential. Don’t be clever until you first become a writer. Though i did get lost a few times along the way i believe this was to do with the lack of detail and description of there settings. I write and sell a few stories. The “D” was pure hoke. The “D” was pure hoke. The “D” was pure hoke. 3 comments«1»aceofhartsReport 2008-10-27 07:55:27Excellent story!!!!! Why not try to tell a straight story that starts at the beginning and stops at the end?
